Well This Is Just Awesome

Just a head’s up, scar picture ahead (trigger warning for mutilation)

thebrightoptimist:

10. Never go to Mother’s Tattoo Parlor when you’re high.

9. You think that’s bad, you should see the exit wound.

8. I self-mutilate. Don’t you?

7. Those damn flesh-eating bacteria are spreading, slowly but surely.

6. That’s where the government put the chip to track my movements.

5. It’s the only way to smuggle drugs these days.

4. What scar? What are you talking about? Oh my God! That’s HUGE!

3. I had to sell organs to get off the street.

2. I should have listened when Mom said not to scratch that mosquito bite.

1. That’s where my Siamese twin was attached.

— courtesy of Planet Cancer (except the photo, which is me)

All the awards.

On the topic of scars, I got pulled aside in my chem lab today and made to wear an extra bib to cover my neck scar. Because apparently scar tissue is extra react-y to acid or something.

I mean, if anyone got splashed in the neck with 50% nitric acid it would suck for them so I’m not really sure how much my rubbish disposable apron would have helped matters.

Also looking like Not-So-Nearly-Headless-Nick is wearing very thin now…