Well This Is Just Awesome

Day 984 of My Captivity

My captors have introduced something new to my cell. It appears to be some sort of plant. I must investigate.

Something isn’t right. I have been foiled. The plant appears to have been laced with something. The room is spinning. I… I…

oh shit oh shit oh shit oh fuck oh crap oh shit oh crap fuck what is happening what is this is this real fuck yeah it is shit relax think fuck why shit relax think breath must do something oh fuck stay calm remember first aid shit must get help oh fuck oh shit oh shit

Dude.

There’s like… the word OK. The word OK looks like a sideways person. I’ve said OK my whole life and never noticed him. What’s up little guy?

I think I just invented sound.

Sheeeiiiiit. There should be like… There needs to be white chocolate milk. Tell me I didn’t just blow your mind. I know I just blew your mind.

I bet I could eat a thousand mice. Meece. Mouses.

Claws go in, claws go out. You can’t explain that.

You know, my captors aren’t so bad. I should tell them about my chocolate milk idea. I love chocolate milk.

(Source: reddit.com)

He seems fairly content. He had a few too many tonight, I think he was sitting on the sofa and he sunk so low he just slid off. LOL.