Health took a bit of a nosedive this weekend. Perfect timing as per usual.
What it turns out to have happened: I got a gut adhesion, happened because of the surgery I had back in September 2011. My intestines are all like YOU SHALL NOT PASS.
What I got diagnosed with before that: “it’s food poisoning, here have some strong painkillers”, “it’s gall stones, here have some anti-biotics and anti-emetics”, “it’s appendicitis, have fun with that”.
I realised I had to go into hospital after I started to throw up water and pills. The past couple of days went past in a blur of morphine and feeling crap and I had an NG tube fitted. Here is my finest elephant impression:
Just saying, having an NG tube inserted whilst conscious - 0/10 would not endure again.
So things are beginning to look up and hopefully I won’t have to have another laparoscopy to fix this. Got my exams in 2 weeks so I’m really quite worried about that but just gonna try and push through I guess. Damn it body you have rubbish timing!
TODAY (I’ll pretend it’s not actually 2am and I am in the USA or something where today is still yesterday), marks my second cancerversary.
That’s two years since I got diagnosed. I’m still here, that’s pretty awesome right?
I don’t like being the bearer of bad news, but I knew you would all want to know how Jenni’s doing.
On Saturday morning, our darling Jenni passed away peacefully at home. She wasn’t in any pain and it happened very quickly. The night before she had a contented sleep, so she could not have been much happier.
-If anyone wants any more details, or information on her funeral, they can feel free to contact me- my page is forever-a-hufflepuff.
This post hit home hard for me. Jenni had the same cancer as I had, and reached out to me just at the start of her treatment and just at the end of mine. I hope that the little support I had to give took the slightest edge off some of the harshest moments for her, and I am glad that she passed away peacefully.
Seriously, fuck cancer.
Being tired is freaking scary for me.
It’s been a while since my last hospital check up (my next one is on Thursday)
My brain is full of what ifs
My stomach is slightly bloated, what if there’s another tumour.
Why is there a random sore spot on my ribcage.
Why am I falling asleep in the middle of the afternoon.
Why were my lifts suffering.
Why is it getting harder to bike up hills.
In the end…I’m almost positive it’s nothing. I’ve been working long shifts, it’s near the end of a long term, I’ve been eating mostly at a caloric deficit and I’m just paranoid.
Still means I can’t wait to get a blood test and a scan. I need reassurance.
From girls on my course. And I realised it’s because they’ve never seen me with straight hair, I had chemo curls right until the end of summer exams. That’s weird to know.
Meanwhile my housemate’s new name for me is Beiber.
So I was given my clean bill of health, and two scans to book at 3 months and 6 months time. They want me to have ultrasounds and MRIs instead of CT and PETs because I’m looking increasingly less likely to relapse and they want to try to limit the amount of radiation I get. So far so good. Book the scan in the morning, consultation in the afternoon, no fuss no muss! So I go to Outpatients and book in for Monday 17th December for the first consultation and then off I skip to my TMI-warning-trans-vaginal-ultrasound (I affectionately term that one the “dildo scan”).
See what I mean. Anyway.
Turns out you can’t have your dildo scanned on a Monday. The only day I can have an outpatient consultation is a Monday, and I can’t get the scan on a Monday so that means *drumroll*…I get to make an extra 4 hour round trip to go to two half-hour appointments a week apart from each other. Excellent. Not only that but I have to miss the last day of term so I can go get probed ahead of the consultation I had booked. Although admittedly that isn’t too much of a big deal because 80% of the class will have inevitably gone home a day early anyway. My excuse is a valid one.
So, that arranged, I then go off to MRI where it turns out I have to have a few days between my MRI scan and a consultation anyway so YAY MORE 2 HOUR CAR JOURNEYS. This is without even factoring in me coming down from Nottingham to attend most of these appointments.
In short everything is a lot more effort than it needs to be.
I don’t wanna do my homework!!! I just wanna take a nap. I have no idea why I thought doing college and chemo at the same time would be a good idea.
Oh god I’ve got to do uni work while on chemo this year. If the summer was any indication, this is going to be… interesting.
I can’t get over how ridiculously hardcore you are.
Because it had milk in it and I can’t have milk this morning. Baaaaw CT scans suck.
Today I bought hairties.
Take that cancer.
I choose to celebrate the little things.
My fringe is starting to get in my eyes. YAAAAAY HAIR.